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In other words: Perfection. That is, unless Lucya "The Wolverine" Chernyshevsky is leader of the neighborhood watch. Over the course of 15 years, I've tried saving the word epic for oddities that truly work for the definition.

And let me tell you friends: If an emotional beat down of a daddy-issued ketamine-lifer doesn't earn it, the 4-inch race-rampage in the final act will lol.

And by experience , I mean one man blowing up his beer money on the kind of sexual endeavor that would shell shock a Vietnam war veteran.

Speaking of blowing up: The only thing missing from that slaughter house between her legs is someone in the background screaming wUrLstAr and Floyd Mayweather coming out of retirement to fight it.

Every girl has a breaking point. There's no unexpected martial arts but the line "guys are masturbating to your tears" is the kind of memory that lasts a lifetime.

Imagine reaching a point in your life where incest fantasies just aren't doing it for you anymore, so you unleash an even deeper mental illness and create some sort of hybrid, cabbage patch, mother-daughter serial killer, fuck dance home videos and think not hiding your identity is a good idea.

This is that point. Well boys, it's that time again. You know what I mean - The blurring of that line between 4 year liberal arts degree and independent woman as illustrated by a group of guys that consider the Ford F a luxury vehicle.

Never before has adult entertainment made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walmart. One country's quest for sexual satisfaction reaches it's peak, courtesy of a build-a-bear workshop for egg-drop rice boxes.

It's hard to turn a blind eye to this actually being possible in , but make sure this technology never makes it's way to Florida and you got yourself an investor.

Sociopaths are called psychopaths but there are differences. Psychopathy can be thought of as a more severe form of sociopathy with more defined symptoms.

All psychopaths are sociopaths but sociopaths are not always psychopaths. I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok.

In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.

First time squirters, prolapse-induced user-controlled climaxing and bittersweet ways to burn an entire paycheck just to get your name scribbled onto a whiteboard.

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Not the first time I've seen a girl that got me through those awkward high school years trying to erase her past, but it might be the most indisputable.

Silly goose, you can't just replace us with Twitch simps and expect us to forget lol. Classic cases of unbridled overconfidence.

If only these creatures put as much effort into velcroing their crotches shut in public, as they did into experimenting with pain medications: Then maybe these permanent marks on their resumes could have been avoided.

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